Learning about EQ of your kids
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“There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” — Nelson Mandela, Former President of South Africa
I was fortunate to have a wonderful childhood. However, I grew close to some of the kids who struggled through their childhood. I believe that the childhood is such a blessed time that every kid deserves to have the freedom to be happy. The decisions of the adults are important to the child's life. Your sacrifices, your toil, and your hard work will be reaped by your children. This is why in my courses I talk about generational well being. The generational well being not only relates to financial health but also to mental, spiritual, physical and psychological health.
As an example, all of my kids partake in daily exercises that not only includes physical exercises but also mental, spiritual and psychological exercises. There are several forms of it. My focus is to not only improve their intelligence quotient but also emotional quotient, social quotient, creative quotient and adversity quotient. Want to learn about these quotients, click here.
My daughter enjoying books in her hands and also posing at Popponesset Island
Lets start talking about first the emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, express, and regulate emotions.
You may be strong in expressing the emotions but not able to perceive the emotions of others or vice versa. Nevertheless, the most important aspect of this intelligence is to regulate your emotions. If you want to learn about your EQ, remember your last heated argument. Did you express yourself or not? Did you perceive the emotions of the other person or not? How did you regulate your emotions? All of these questions will give you clues about your emotional intelligence.
You can take a free test about your emotional intelligence by clicking here.
There are several types of emotional intelligence.
- Self-Awareness (confidence, recognition of feelings)
- Self-Regulation (self-control, trustworthiness, adaptability)
- Motivation (drive, commitment, initiative, optimism)
- Empathy (understanding others feelings, diversity, political awareness)
Various models of emotional intelligence have been also defined.
ABILITY MODEL
- This model was developed by Peter Salovey of Yale University and John Mayer of University of New Hampshire.
Perceiving emotions: understanding nonverbal signs such as other peoples body language or facial expressions (Salovey & Birnbaum) - Reasoning with Emotions: using emotions to promote thinking and cognitive activity (Salovey & Birnbaum)
- Understanding Emotions: Interpreting emotions of others around you, being able to recognize people display emotions of anger when they might not be angry at you but rather the situation
- Managing Emotions: regulating emotions, responding appropriately and consistently
MIXED MODEL
- This model was developed by David Goleman. Golemans model uses "The Five Components" to efficiently describe emotional intelligence.
Self-Awareness (confidence, recognition of feelings) - Self-Regulation (self-control, trustworthiness, adaptability)
- Motivation (drive, commitment, initiative, optimism)
- Empathy (understanding others feelings, diversity, political awareness)
- Social Skills (leadership, conflict management, communication skills)
TRAIT MODEL
- This model was developed by Konstantin Vasily Petrides. He defined the trait model as "a constellation of emotional self-perceptions located at the lower levels of personality."
Ones understanding and perception of their emotions - The use of personality framework to investigate trait emotional intelligence
Developing emotional intelligence enables us to manage emotions effectively and avoid being derailed, for example, by a flash of anger. Your child with higher emotional intelligence will be paying better attention, will be more engaged in school, will have more positive relationships, and will be more empathic.
